There is a phrase in the new mass which hits me hard every time I hear it. At the beginning of the mass, and I know there must be a proper term for it, we are asked to confess our sins. The Priest says, “For what I have done and for what I have failed to do.” I think about this phrase a lot. Especially the second part, “For what I have failed to do”. I have failed to do much.
One of the things we are asked to do in our spiritual lives is to pass on our faith to our children/ We should teach them how to be good Christians and good Catholics. The two ways we should do this is leading by example (living the faith) and spending time with them reading and discussing the Bible and God’s Word.
I did neither with my children. As soon as I was able I left the church and there was very little faith practiced in our house. Oh the kids were baptized and made their First Communions, but that was pretty much it. Since I felt like I didn’t need to attend church or read the Bible, or do anything else which would be considered religious, I didn’t force it on them.
So I guess I shouldn’t be surprised the way things have turned out. Not that I have bad kids, not at all, I taught them right from wrong, how to work hard, etc. but I didn’t reach them the love of God and how He is there for us. I didn’t teach them the power of prayer and what can be accomplished through it. I didn’t teach them how the Bible is a wonderful place to go to find answers.
I only have one real regret in life, one thing I would change if I could go back and start over. I wouldn’t have strayed from the faith. I’ve done some fairly bad things, I may have, okay, I do have, a few mortals in there, and beleive me i am sorry for them, but it is the fact I didn’t live my faith and pass it onto my children, and now my grandchildren which bothers me the most.
Whether God will forgive me for all my sins and decide I can head on up to Heaven or not, is yet to be determined, and I accept my fate. But with my children, it isn’t their fault they don’t know if they sin or not, it is mine. I don’t know how I can fix that, God hasn’t yet given me the way to do it. I do beleive though, that He has given me the ability to write and through it He wants me to help others. I beleive He wants me to stop others from making the same mistakes as I did. Catching the young people, the teens and newly married, before they stray off the narrow path so they can make the right choices and raise their children in the faith.
I am not sure if I am up to the task and honestly I don’t know how to do that yet, maybe someone who reads this will have an idea, let me know. As for my own children, maybe they will read this as well, and we’ll see what happens.