It has been a couple weeks since I have posted anything but just so all know, I am still here. It has been one of those months where those tests which we are giving in life have been coming right after another. There is that old saying which goes “God only gives us what we can handle”, and I believe that. I know in the past He has never let me get to the point of no return,, mostly in my drinking days, and I know He’ll help me out again. As long as I don’t lose my faith in Him, I’ll be good. I am only afraid I am losing my faith.
It all started when of our two vehicles has decided to break down to the point where it isn’t worth fixing. While it still runs, it needs to be babied and won’t last long. Then the notebook which I do most of my writing on also decided to no longer work which limits my writing time, and again the funds aren’t there to replace it. Then the second vehicle we have also decided to break down, which necessitated $500 in repairs. And lastly there were some changes at work and I am no longer sure how secure my job is. And during all this i ran out of my meds, forgot my Doctor’s appointment so i couldn’t get them refilled and that has caused me to be in pain.
I admit that one reason I am in a bad financial position is my own doing. I have made some bad decisions and choices in the past ten or so years, some which I knew were bad at the time, some which were the result of earlier bad decisions and some just wrong choices, and now some of those chickens have come home to roost.
But believe it or not I am not whining about it. Like I said I trust in God and as he has done in the past He will see me through these times as well. I don’t believe He tests us, bad things don’t come from Him. He does watch us to see how we handle things, ans as I said, He won’t let us get to a point where we can’t come back. I only wish He would give me a little sign on what path He wants me to follow. Every challenge is an opportunity. Maybe it is time for some changes in my life. I am not sure. I know what I would like to do, just don;t know how to get there.
I do know one thing though: With God and Tonya on my side I won’t lose.