One of the major themes I think about in my life is choices. We all make choices in our lives and we have to live with the consequences of these choices. Some of us make good choices, some of us make bad choices. some a combination of both. When I came back to God, okay I never really left God, just put him out of my mind for about thirty or so years, I thought a lot about the choices I have made in my life. Many of my choices were bad, okay maybe not bad as much as the wrong ones. Nah, they were bad. I could bore you with a list of these bad choices, but I won’t.
The question is why did I make so many bad choices? Can all these choices be traced back to one, first, bad choice? The rather simple answer became quite clear to me one night as i was holding my nightly talk with God. Think about this: What does God want us to do? What is His plan for us? We are always told God has a plan for us and in my case I took a long time trying to figure it out. What exactly is his plan? The answer is simple: Eternal life in heaven.
Hoe do we do this? Again, it’s simple: Follow God and Jesus’ teachings. “Love your neighbor as thyself”. “Follow my commandments.” That’s pretty much it. He doesn’t ask us to move mountains, change the course of rivers, or anything other than the above.
All we need to do is live according to His rules, try not to sin, not to break the commandments and love others as our self. If we read the Bible, which is God’s Word to us, if we take the time to learn what it has to teach us, we will be well on the way to following God’s plan for us. And this brings us back to choices.
If we go through life making choices based on what we can learn from scripture, we will always make the right choices. The right choices are the ones that lead us to the ultimate goal: eternal salvation in Heaven. We can learn how to make the right choices by reading scripture, reading the catechism, attending church, praying, but most of all believing.
This is where I went wrong. I drifted away from faith, not just the Catholic faith, but truly all faith. I didn’t pray on decisions, I didn’t make choices based on what God teaches us, and since I didn’t, I made bad choices. I allowed Satan to enter me and tempt me into one sin after another. If I had stayed within the church and its teachings, I would have made better choices. In the course of this blog I will talk more about my choices and how my life would have been different had I not left the faith. For now I will only say I wish I hadn’t have lost faith, I hadn’t have strayed from God and His teachings, but I am now on the right track. God has had my back, even though it took me awhile to realize this, He has sent me a wonderful woman to share my life with, and although our life right now is hard and challenging, I know we will make it.
I’ll deal with the consequences of my previous choices, I take full responsibility and have repented for my sins, and now, I listen to God, trust in him, and I know I will be okay.
“Blessed is the man who endure trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life which God has promised to those who love him,” James 1:12