Pride has always been a big issue for me, and I’ve come to realize it’s probably my biggest flaw. They say pride is the root of all the other deadly sins, and honestly, I believe that. After a lot of reflection, I’ve noticed how much it’s affected me, and I’m not sure how to fix it.

For example, yesterday I went to the bank for work. It’s a long, tedious process, and lately, I’ve been dealing with a newer teller. He’s not as quick as the others who’ve been there longer, and I find myself losing patience because I just want to get it done and go home—it’s usually the end of the day when I go.

Yesterday, it hit me that my impatience comes from thinking I could do the job better myself. But then I had to remind myself that not everyone is like me. We all have different talents and skills. Maybe he’s slow at this, but he could be amazing at something else, like cooking or whatever. It’s not fair for me to think I’m better just because I’d do it differently. That’s pride, plain and simple.

Looking back on my life, I see how pride has always been there. I’ve always been the one who thinks he knows everything, always has an opinion, and always tries to convince others that my way is the right way. And honestly, it’s probably why I don’t have close friends. Other than my wife and my dog, I’m pretty much alone. Even with my kids, I’ve been like this. Lately, I’ve started to really see it, and it bothers me. I know now that this is who I’ve always been, and it’s something I need to change.

I haven’t committed all the deadly sins—at least I don’t think so—but I can see how pride can lead to the others. Like with adultery, for example. Pride makes you think you deserve better, maybe a younger or more attractive partner, and that’s how affairs start. It’s all tied to vanity and selfishness. Staying humble is so important, and I know I need to work on that. I need to remind myself that we’re all different, and that’s okay. God made us that way.

Working for my son has made me see this even more. He’s a lot like me, and now I know where he gets it from. But I also can’t work with him anymore because I keep thinking his way is wrong, and mine is right. But it’s his business, not mine. He’s making the decisions he thinks are best, just like I did when I was in charge. If he wants my advice, he’ll ask for it. But being around it every day is hard because I see things I don’t agree with, people I don’t trust, and decisions I wouldn’t make. So, I’ve decided it’s time to step away. There’s that saying: if you don’t like something, you can change it, leave it alone, or walk away. I’m choosing to walk away. I was retired before, and I think it’s time to go back to that.

Anyway, I know I’ve gone on a bit, but pride is something I really need to work on. It’s the biggest thing holding me back right now, and I want to fix it. I’m trying to live with the end in mind, focusing on making my way to heaven. That’s what matters most to me.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace; but with the humble is wisdom.  (Proverbs 11:2, RSV2CE)