Alright, let’s dive back into talking about pride and, more importantly, how it’s shaped my life. Last time, I started with a little definition of pride and admitted that it’s probably my biggest flaw—one that’s had a huge impact on my life.

So, how did I figure this out? Well, a couple of years ago, I went to my 50th high school reunion. Sitting there, I realized I hadn’t talked to or seen most of these people in 50 years. You know how everyone says on graduation day, “We’ll keep in touch, we’ll do this, we’ll do that”? Yeah, that didn’t happen for me. Other than a couple of people, I didn’t stay in touch with anyone. And honestly, they didn’t reach out either, so I’m not blaming anyone—it’s just how things went.

But it got me thinking about my younger self, back in school and even after, and how I was always kind of a loner. I liked doing things on my own. Even now, I enjoy being outside, walking through the woods alone. I’ve always preferred my own company.

So, I started wondering why that is. Why do I prefer being by myself? I spent a lot of time thinking and praying about it, and, as always, God answered me. I’ve talked before about how I believe God speaks to us and answers prayers, and one way He does that is through dreams. Not all dreams are from God, but I’ve come to believe that recurring dreams—whether it’s the same dream over and over or dreams with the same theme—are significant. I even started keeping track of them, writing them down or recording them as soon as I woke up, so I wouldn’t forget.

In these recurring dreams, the theme is always the same. I’d be back at one of my old jobs—whether it was my dad’s grocery store, the distribution company, or some random place I don’t recognize. The details change, but the core idea stays the same: I come back after being gone for a while, and everything I worked on or changed has been undone. Policies I put in place, ways I organized things—it was all reverted to how it was before I got there. And in these dreams, I run into people like my dad, my sister, an old boss, or someone I’ve replaced. They resist any changes I try to make, telling me, “You’re not in charge anymore. You don’t have a say.” Sometimes, it even escalates to the point where I try to physically fight back, but I can’t. It was like I was being held back, unable to do anything.

It took me a while to figure out what these dreams mean, but eventually, I realized they are all about pride. Back then, I thought I knew better than everyone else. I believed I had all the answers, and it was my way or nothing. It wasn’t that I didn’t listen to people, but at the end of the day, I always thought I knew best. Looking back, even in school, I was the guy who thought he had all the answers. I’d take charge in group activities—though I didn’t do many of those because, again, I thought I was smarter than everyone else. Spoiler: I wasn’t. But at the time, that’s what I believed, and it all came down to pride.

If I’d been more humble, I probably could’ve achieved the same things, but in a way that lasted. In those dreams, everything I’d done was undone because people didn’t embrace the changes—I’d just forced them. If I’d approached things differently, maybe they would’ve stuck. It’s one of those “if I knew then what I know now” situations. But I also believe it’s all part of God’s plan, and there’s a lesson in it. Pride isn’t good.

I’ve wondered if being more humble would’ve led to stronger, lasting friendships. Maybe people would’ve stayed in touch, and my life would’ve been different. The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that it’s better to be humble. That’s what God wants for us, and it’s what we need to strive for.

Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves. ⁴ Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others (Philippians 2:3–4, RSV2CE)