So many things to write about, so little time.
I could write about today’s readings, I could write about marriage and how and why mine failed, I could write about the “Culture of Death” or even the upside down morality in the world today and how we have replaced God. But… instead I want to write about how now that I have let God into my life, I have an inner peace I have never had before.
I have written before about how I finally figured out the purpose of life, to do all you can to get to Heaven, and it’s funny how once I figured that out, everything else seems to not matter as much. No, I m not saying I don’t care about anything other than that, but I think once I figured this out, there was this level of stress which seemed to be lifted from me. Somehow knowing that there is going to be something better when this is done, makes this life that much easier to take.
I was reading one of my old blogs I wrote way back when, after my divorce but before I came back to God and read all these posts about how unhappy I was, how much stress I had, all my financial problems,how I kept falling into bouts of depression causing me to do some bad things, and on and on. I have come a long way since then. I no longer have these bouts with depression, I am happy, and I no longer stress like I did. Yes, I still have financial problems I am dealing with, I am worried about losing my job due to circumstances I can’t control, and I have various health issues I am dealing with. Yet, I am filled with an inner peace I never had before.
I know that no matter what happens God is there, He has my back. He always has, although for way too long I never realized it. Now that I do, I know I can handle anything. If I lose my job, I can handle it, I am working through the money things and the health issues, well I only need to think about how much Jesus suffered on the cross for us, and I am dealing with nothing compared to that.
I realize that there are things I can’t control, like if I lose my job because of the recent merger, I can’t control what other people do, I can only control myself. As it says in “The Serenity Prayer”
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
I also realize that I can’t change the things in my past. I can’t change the decisions I have made, something I have dwelt on for too long. I can only live for today and for the next life. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, I can only prepare for the end and hopefully after my stay in Purgatory, I will spend eternity with God. I will do whatever I can in this life to get to the next. Maybe somehow I can help that cause through here and my writing, I don’t know, or maybe God has different plans for me. Only He knows.
Stay tuned and maybe we’ll find out together.