The last few weeks have been especially hard for me. And I admit they have been testing my faith. There was a time when these same things would have beaten me but not this time. Why? Because this time, I have faith. I know that God is with me and will give me the strength I need to handle whatever comes my way.
It took me awhile to get to this point. I look at it like climbing a mountain and when you get to the top you can’t see the way down the other side. The valley you will descend into is shrouded in fog. You don’t know what is there. You need to make a choice. You can either continue down through the fog hoping there is a path, or you can turn back and go down the other side. I have always turned around and gone back the way I came. I never trusted the Lord enough to go down the other side, to let Him lead me down, through the fog and into the unknown.
He said, “Come.” Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened and, beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” – Matthew 14: 28 – 31
I was like Peter, with little faith that I could make it. When Peter left the boat he was confident but then as the wind picked up, he became scared. Even though Jesus was there Peter didn’t trust in himself. He didn’t think he would make it and called out to Jesus. Had Peter had faith in himself he would have made it. I have been in the same predicament with one exception. I didn’t trust that Jesus would be able to save me, that he would reach out his hand and guide me along. I didn’t want to go into the unknown.
I am not sure what caused me to change. I don’t know what happened to make me realize I could trust in Jesus and he would lead me down the other side of the mountain. I think over the course of my journey I have realized that he has always been there. I have had hard times and have always gotten through them. I haven’t always been able to understand why or how I have, but I believe he has helped. But I do know he is there and he will lead me. He will keep me on the right path, and when things get bad I can reach out to him and he will be there. Just like he was for Peter.
As I said these last few weeks have been difficult. Some things have happened that have tested my faith, but I have remained strong. I asked God to give me strength and he has. I know Satan is waiting for me to mess up and give in to temptation, but it won’t happen. Not this time.
But I trust in you Lord,; I say, “You are my God.” Ps 31:15