Doing the best I can

Last week I talked about whether or not this was the beginning of the end times. Evidently the Rapture was supposed to happen last week (a fact I didn’t know about when I wrote that post) and I have to assume either it didn’t happen or I wasn’t chosen. 

I thought a lot about the current state of things in the world this past week and I began to become quite discouraged. It really is overwhelming and it almost seems that the problems are insurmountable. I always write about the lack of God in our world today, and how there are so many non-believers out there that there is no one to pass on our faith and moral beliefs to the next generation.

One of our duties as Catholics and Christians is to teach our children our faith and about God but if we don’t know or believe in God, then how can we pass it on? Even in my own case, when my kids were young I was a non-practicing Catholic, away from the church and therefore they were never “churched” (okay that may not be an actual word but it works). I couldn’t pass on my beliefs if I didn’t understand them myself.

How do we turn this situation around? Can we? I often will say that the one way to do it is to lead by example. We should live our lives as good Christians each and every day and let God’s light shine through us for others to see. But then I ask myself this question: How can that work if the people around us have no idea of what a good Christian is like? If they are non-believers in God, then how will they know that it is His light shining through us? Will they even know what the light is? I suppose there is a chance that some may ask, but I suspect most won’t. And what if you only have limited interaction with other people each day? Then what?

A few posts back I wrote about one of my coworkers talked about how he dislikes “Those Churchy People” and since he is my boss how long would I last if I started spouting gospel verses? (Although I do admit my office mate and I listen to gospel music quite a bit which I am pretty certain annoys him.) So how do I become that light?

I try to do it through my writing but even then I wonder how many people I really affect. After all the likelihood that non-believers are reading this blog are pretty slim. I have begun to question if this is even what God is wanting me to do. I have thought it was for a long time but now I wonder if He is calling me to something else, and if He is what is it? I know He wants me to “Live with the end in mind”, meaning to do whatever it takes to get to Heaven and spend eternity with Him. I know inorder to do that I have to live each day as it is my last and as the best person I can be, something I don’t alway s do.

I know what God has done for me over the last three years, He has turned my life around 180 degrees. I wish I could explain it to others, how He did it, but how can you describe something that others can’t see? I talk about the bad choices I have made and how had I made different ones my life would have turned out differently then it has, but how can you measure that? You can’t measure something like that, there are no numbers to qualify it, only conjecture. I know the difference it would have made but I can’t explain it.

But I also know that I had to go through what I did to get where I am, after all God is in control and this is the path He wanted me to follow. I am happier than I have ever been and I have an inner peace that I never had before. Maybe if I had made different choices way back when I wouldn’t have this same peace, or more accurately not understand it the way I do. Only God knows for sure.

I’ll keep moving forward, living my life the best I can, being the best Catholic and Christian I can be, trying to be that light for others. Maybe I will make a difference in someone’s life, maybe I won’t, but at least I’ll know I tried.

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