Am I trying too hard? Or not hard enough? This is the question I have been asking myself (and God) lately. I’ve been asking this about the RCIA program I am involved in as a facilitator.
You see the issue is I feel like the program should be more than it seems to be right now. But since I have never done this before or even been to an RCIA program I am not sure exactly what it is supposed to be. I only know what I think it is supposed to be.
What I find interesting is there is not really any guidance giving by the Church as to what should be covered. As I tend to do, maybe too much so, I have been researching Church documents dealing with Catechesis and adult faith formation and it only gives very general guidelines. The Vatican teaching office says to follow the policy of your diocese. My diocese says to follow the parish guidelines. The parish doesn’t have anything other than something that was put together several years ago and this is very vague, leaving me in this quandary.
I feel I am being called to do this and I want to do it right. I don’t want other people to make the same mistakes I have made, leaving the faith when I was younger, not following the teachings of Jesus. I want others to know how much Jesus has changed my life and how He will do the same for them. I just don’t know the best way to do it or if I am getting through.
I admit it is hard for me to verbalize a lot of this, which is why I wonder if I am not truly committed to the Catholic faith. After all, shouldn’t all this stuff just spout from me? Isn’t that what truly being committed means? Isn’t that what a true believer is? No.
A true believer doesn’t need to be able to communicate flawlessly. He doesn’t need to have all the answers to every question. He doesn’t need to be able to quote scripture chapter and verse. He doesn’t need to memorize the Catechism. He only needs to believe with all his heart, soul and mind, then live what he knows.