Am I a good Catholic? What makes a good Catholic? This is the question I have been asking myself for the last few weeks. I feel like I’m failing in the faith department.
Sunday’s Gospel reading, Luke 17: 5-10, is about faith. The apostles ask Jesus to increase their faith. Once again this is Jesus’ way of messing with me, giving me an answer to what I have been asking him. Except it hasn’t really.
Let me start by describing what has caused me to question my catholicity. First I have once again been slacking in my prayer life. I still pray every day but have been skipping things like the Rosary and the daily readings. These are things devout Catholics should do every day. Very rarely do I pray the Office any more. And the big thing that every good Catholic should know are his saints and have at least one that he should ask for his or her intercession. I have none. Honestly, I can’t even tell you about very many saints. Oh, I can name some and even tell you one or two things about them, but that’s it.
Do these things mean I am not a good Catholic? Am I a “lukewarm” Catholic?
Let me be clear, I am not having a faith crisis. I have as strong a faith as ever. I know Jesus is there for me and I still trust in Him and look to Him for help and guidance. It is more of a question of “Am I doing enough?” or maybe “Am I doing the right things?”
Take this blog for example. I only sporadically write in it. I started it because I believed God was calling me to do this. I believe He wants me to spread the Word to others to either strengthen their faith or for those who don’t believe, help them. I have no idea if I am making a difference or not, but I know if I am not writing, no one will be reading. And if no one is reading I certainly won’t be changing any lives.
We are all called to evangelize to others so if I am not writing, I am not evangelizing. We are all called to be missionaries but I am not. Does that make me a bad Catholic?
I have started driving again which means I have started listening to the radio again. On the satellite radio yesterday I listened to the Jen Fulwiler show on The Catholic Channel. I don’t remember it it was her or her guest who said something that to me was like a slap on the back of the head. They were talking about writing and how it is not an easy thing to do. One of the two said that many people think they are called by God to do something, in this case, writing, and they think because He is calling us it should be easy to do. This is wrong. In fact, it is the opposite. If He wants us to truly do something, it is going to be the complete opposite because there is someone else who doesn’t want us to do it – Satan.
I never thought of that and how true it is. Satan will do everything in his power to stop us from evangelizing, from spreading His word. I can see this in my own life. Every time I try to write something seems to get in my way, some kind of distraction. Or I will start to write and feel like what I am writing is terrible and I suck as a writer, so I stop. How many times have I tried to chronicle my journey and the things I have learned that would help others, and have given up? Three, four, five?
Because I am not doing these things, does this mean I am not a good Catholic? I don’t know. So we all know what this means? More blog posts on what makes a good Catholic. Well if I can get Satan to stop distracting me.