Here it is Sunday and I still haven’t written my “Sunday Reflection”. I have to admit I write it during the week, but this week I was so busy at work and there were so many other things which needed to written about I couldn’t find the time to reflect.That’s the problem in life sometimes; we don’t have the time to reflect on things, especially on God. Let me rephrase that, we don’t make the time to reflect. We are so busy with the things which we think are more important that we don’t take the time to realize that everything is made possible through God.
Everything we have is because of God. Yes, we work hard but who gives us the desire to, the ability to, the will to? God. We spend all our lives trying to get ahead, to keep up with the Jones’, to get more and more stuff, why? We can’t take it with us. I’ve been there, I was married to a person who, no matter what we had, it wasn’t enough. We always needed more. So I worked, so much that I missed my kids growing up, I missed my parents in their “Golden years”, I never had time to socialize and make friends and I didn’t have time to go to church and worship.
And now I am paying for it. My kids have grown up and they don’t know God. They each have two children, from two different fathers or mothers as the case may be. Neither of my two youngest grandchildren has been baptized and yes, I blame myself. Why? Because I was too busy trying to get more and more stuff.
My father wasn’t a particularly religious man as I recall. In fact we had conversations which led me to believe he no longer believed in God at all. He worked hard all his life and when he died, he left the world the same way he came into it, with nothing. But he had everything he wanted. He had children and grandchildren that loved him. He lived in the same little house on the lake that I live in now and that was all he wanted. He never needed more than that, he never wanted more than that. I am my father’s son, with one difference.
I have found my way back to the Lord. No, I am not what I used to call a “Holy-Roller” who preaches to everyone the Word of the Lord whether they want to listen or not. But I do believe that by the grace of God, I have everything I need. I live in this little house on the lake, where I hear the birds every day, the frogs, the crickets, the neighbor’s slamming screen door, and I realize God has provided me with this. As I have alluded to in this blog many times, I have committed my share of mortal sins. I have done some things which could very well land me in a not very nice place when I die. But with all that, and yes, God knows what I have done, I have confessed to Him (although I haven’t taken that next step and gone to a Priest for confession) but He has still watched over me.
Why? Because He loves me. He has some plan for me, not sure exactly what it is but I am ready. And knowing that He does watch over me and protect me, I am happy. Are there things I want, that I am envious of? Absolutely, like the new boat my neighbor has (he should have spent the money on a new screen door) but I know when God wants me to have one, it will be provided. No, it won’t drop from Heaven, I will have to work for it, but when He is ready for me to have one, it will come. But even though I don’t have a boat or a big house and fancy car, I am very happy with my life. I don’t need more, I have everything I need.
My life isn’t easy. I have debts to pay and just about scrape by every week, but the point is I do get by. God seems to make sure of that. I know as long as I do two things in my life, believe in Him, and keep working to get out of debt, I will. And I know when my life is done; that there is a Heaven, there is something more than this. Whether I get there or not remains to be seen, but I am giving it my best shot.