I have started this post about five times now and am finding it extremely difficult to write. I am trying to write my thoughts on this whole Corona Virus situation. I am very conflicted on this, conflicted about the “quarantine”, God, my faith and my Church. My head says one thing, my heart another.

Let me start by saying I am not entirely sure this Coronavirus thing is as bad as it is made out to be. I am not saying it isn’t bad, but how is it different than any other of the flu viruses? What makes it necessary to close our churches and ruin our economy? But I will leave that discussion to my other blog.

This whole thing has really been testing my faith. My heart tells me one thing, my heart tells me another. Here is a list of things that I am conflicted about:

• Why would a loving, caring God allow this to happen?
• Is God punishing us?
• Are we in the end times?
• What good can come from this?
• Will this be the end of the Church as we know it?

This “crisis” is causing a severe disruption in out lives and our economy. The measures our government has taken is going to hurt millions of people. People are not working, there are shortages of necessary goods in our stores, our churches are closed. My head says if God loves us so much why would he allow this to happen? Why would he allow our freedom to be curtailed? My heart knows that God does love us and doesn’t want to hurt us. Yet…

Are we being punished for our sins? No one can argue that we have pushed God from our lives, put Him in a closet where no one can see Him. We have become a world full of sin and degradation. We have replaced moral certainty with moral relativism, putting ourselves ahead of others. We change the rules to fit our own best interests. We play God, determining what is right and what is wrong, who will live and who will die. God has punished for this type of thing before, is He doing it again?

Several times throughout scripture Jesus and the Old Testament prophets tell us about the end times. We are told about what the signs are of when it is coming. Look at the natural disasters that have been happening, the famines, the wars and now another disease. Yes, Jesus tells us that only the Father knows when the end will come, but is it coming soon?

We are always told that out of everything bad, God will bring some good, what good will come from this? Supermarket shelves are empty. People are out of work. Children are out of school. We are not allowed to congregate. Our churches are closed. There are people who are using this to scam others. There are some companies that are profiting from this situation. Is this good? Is this what God wants?

At a time when our churches are most needed they are closed. Instead of bringing us together, is this pushing us farther apart? There are some that are already asking what good is your praying doing? If prayer works why is this happening? Even some Catholics are suggesting this shows we really don’t need to go to church, we are doing fine without it. These are all things me head is telling me.

But then there is my heart. My heart knows that God does love us and this is part of His plan. I know what He has done for me and I know I have to continue to believe. I know that God is in control, something that we as a society have a hard time accepting because we want to be in control. I know that prayer does work. I know we must be patient. I know that we can’t give up. I know that if it is the end time, I need to be ready, making my life right with God.

We must not be afraid.